He Never Had a Reason to Smile
by Galimatias
Summary: The Joker. Everyone knows and fears him. But when a detective from teh real world drops into their world and doesnt even flinch at the sight of him he feels he finally met his match. And maybe in more ways then one. Joker X OC
1. Running, Riddles, and No Rest For Cops

**f you know me then you know why I chose the name. if you don't then just go on over to my profile. It explains everything.**

Lillie

Sweat poured down my forehead. Adrenaline pumped through my veins. I had been running for two days, and I think by now I was just asleep on my feet. And yet, he pushed me and pushed me to run faster and harder, making me push my limits. But right now my training coach wasn't exactly the nicest, most supportive person on the planet. It was a menacing, insane criminal. One of the worst, and right now I was playing one of his little games. This included running back and forth trying to find all of his little clues.

So far, I hadn't found anything on his profile. But I had a ton on his victim. Wait, make that victims.

The only thing that the captain had told us was that he was dangerous and he was armed. So far his clues were leading me everywhere. This job would have been easier had someone not stolen my car while I was looking for the next clue. Since their was no time to go back and get another, or even to rent one from a local dealer, I would have to run.

Quickly I whipped out the clues that I had been given so far. Each one was useless. One said to go to the school building. Another said to go to the bakery on 2nd Street. Each one was direct and easy to understand. So much for mastermind. But then there were the last one. The only one he had been willing to write a riddle for.

_I make_

_I break_

_And I supply_

_Take a guess_

_What am I?_

And that was it. I felt, with every bone in my body, that wherever this place was, this was the place she had to go. But where and what it was, that was the mystery. Fine. Lets review the facts. I pushed the hair from my face.

I make. Well, stores make things, so it has to be a store of some kind.

I break. This was a hard one. It could refer to things breaking, or something breaking down. An abandoned store possibly?

And I supply. Bingo. It was something thaw made things, was abandoned and must have supplied things in great quantities. The factory on Wilde Street was the only abandoned factory in town. And if I turn out to be right I will never let anyone doubt me again.


	2. The Man With The Red Eyes

**Sorry it took so long to update. I had MAJOR writers block. And not only that, but I had writers block for all 5 of my stories! Arg! So, thanks for the reviews, here is chapter 2. And if anyone has ANY ideas about a love-hate relationship and things they would like to see between two stubborn people who are forced to be partners either put it in a review or give me a private letter! I WILL appreciate it!**

The air from the bay around the pier was salty and hung in the sky, collecting and sticking onto everything. It created small dewdrops on Lillie's skin and made her hair do crazy things, as crazy as strait hair can be in humidity. But the cool beads were a slight relief and contrasted the sticky June night perfectly. She adjusted the collar of her black shirt, pulling down the front and shoulders a bit more so as to let more air grace her skin. She might be after a killer, but that was no reason she had to die of heat.

She looked off into the distance. The humidity was causing a low fog, thick and dark, which added onto the already dark night. It blocked her vision and made her range of sight shorter. From where she was the pier was no more then a line that stretched on. The lighthouse was going off, the beam circling in its constant almost calming pattern. The affect was beautiful and seemed almost like a lulling repetition, one that would put a person to seep. Any other day she would sit on a bench as far from the pier and water as she could and put her feet up, marveling the amazing sight before her.

But she had a case to solve. So the daydream would have to wait.

Slowly, and as far from the waves as she could manage, Lillie crept her way along the bushes. She made sure to check for movement, always suspicious of dark places. It was something to be suspicious of, but she had to curse herself for taking so long. Her toes squelched in the mud that the thick air had created and her breath, while low, still created movement in the thick atmosphere. Well, breathing wasn't really something she could avoid, as well as moving. She continued on, trying to move faster and less conspicuously. She breathed slower and at times didn't breathe at all. With each step she could see the looming figure of the large factory rising up in front off her.

After she had traveled quiet a distance she could see the door form her crouch. It was past fences in the parking lot. The wires of the fence looked run down, and the once guarded gate was open creating an easy access. Which was exactly what she didn't want. She looked at the building closer. Like the fence the metal that once must have been silver was now a copper red. The windows were broken, and the once not broken were boarded up. She could here the frame of the large structure bending under each passing wind and heard the waves echoing from the inside. This was not a nice place. It was unnerving to look at and made her slightly nervous. Okay, it made her very nervous.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out the paper again. Her hand was shaking so much she could hardly read it. _Cold_, she told herself. _You're shaking because it's cold. Not because you're scared. Its just super cold_. But even her happy inner monologue was a bit sarcastic sounding. She doubted this job and every part of her knew it. But she was this far and stopping when she was so far ahead would be stupid of her. She needed to keep going. All she had to do was remind her self to be extra cautious because this man was dangerous. And as long as that fact was stuck in her brain she would be absolutely fine.

Taking a few more deep breaths she ventured forward. The door seemed too obvious though; so climbing the gate was looking like the only other option. She looked up at the tall wall of crisscrossing wire. It was rusty and the drops of thick fog had cluster on it making it slippery. Well, she had quite a climb ahead of her. Might as well star now.

Thirty cuts, blisters and agonizingly long minutes later she had climbed the tall fence and was now starting to wish she had just walked through the door. But it was too late for that. So slowly, and avoiding any light shed on the asphalt, she snuck up to the back doors of the factory. She reached for her gun, ready to use it to break the lock. But when she pulled on the door once it swung open with a loud creak making her jump.

After a minute she poked her head around the edge of the door to look inside. The roof was made entirely of glass so the moonlight created its own glow on the interior of the warehouse. It was what you would expect. Conveyor belts were lined up one after the next. Boxes, wilted and blackened from age, were lined up against every wall and machine. Above the first floor was a balcony and a small podium where the owner would give speeches. Chains hung from the ceiling, rattling gently as the breeze slipped in and out of the links. It was eerie and strange and discomforting.

Lillie slowly made her way through the building, past the conveyor belts, under the chains and through the mountains of boxes. Bu the once thing she passed that didn't catch her eye was the dark shadow of a man who stood stone still. Only his eyes move, white and piercing in the moonlight, following her every move.

Lillie continued through the factory passing doors and hallways, finally reaching a double door. A sign, rusty from age and almost unreadable in the dark, hung on the door.

EMPLOYEES ONLY

That seemed like a good place to start. Somewhere where no one had been allowed would probably be first on the list of hiding places. Like the first door, this one creaked as Lillie pulled it open. It was obvious that the hinges were very worn down and rusty, never having been oiled in years. She slowly crept around and stood in the room.

Like the other room the roof was glass and more moonlight shone in through the panes. It came down; a misty curtain of grey and reflected off of the high factory shelves lining the room. Boxes were placed on a few of the surfaces but mostly the room was bare. Lillie snuck further down the isles of gleaming metal.

While she was exploring she never once heard the door, so rusty with age, open with out a sound. Light foot steps, barely audible padded slowly behind her. The Man of the Shadows continued after her, stalking its prey similar to any beast ready to kill.

Lillie continued forward, through the light and into the darkened part of the room. She neared a spot very similar to a dead end of an ally. It was a short hallway with only a table, two chairs and a large air conditioner with a grate hanging off by the only surviving screw. She tiptoed over and stared down the shaft, expecting to see someone huddled in it's darkened abyss.

_Click click_

The sound of a gun readying to fire brought her back to reality. She spun around, her hand to her pocket where her own gun was. No one was there. She narrowed her eyes. She had heard someone. It wasn't her imagination. She had heard someone. Then a feeling came to her. That feeling that seems to be screaming, _follow your every instinct_. She did and spun around only to face a very tall man.

Rules of light didn't seem to apply to him. He had mastered position and knew exactly where to stand so that no matter how you looked at him he was always in the shadows. All you could see were his two eyes, bright flashing red eyes surrounded by a white that glowed in the darkness around them. In his black gloved hand he held a small gun and in his other he held an evil looking knife. Both flashed in the moonlight giving off an effect that they were winking at her teasingly.

Lillie's eyes never left his. But her hand was moving slowly to her pocket.

"So, you're the guy killing people huh? I thought you'd find a classier hideout than this."

No response.

"But I have to say, you are very good at the whole sneaking thing. I never even heard you once."

No response.

"You seem like a silent type. That's okay though. I always did prefer that."

No response.

"Well Man of the Darkness, or shadows or whatever you are. I need you to come with me. We can do this the easy way or we can do this the…"

And with an elegant sweep of the arm the man shot one bullet and lashed out his knife. The bullet missed Lillie's nose by a quarter of an inch, but the knife hit it's target dead on, slicing through her jacket and cutting her skin. She looked down. Sticking out her hand se caught a few red beads of blood in her palm. She stared at them for a minute and then took a look at the cut on her upper arm. Then she snickered and stared into the mans unblinking eyes.

"Hard way it is then."


	3. Spandex and Laughter

**Sorry it's so short! I promise the next one will be super long!**

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The Batman had been having a hard day. But we all have those don't we. And batman, being human, naturally would have bad days too. So far his alarm had gone off ten minutes too early in the morning, Alfred was on vacation so he had to prepare breakfast himself only to result in almost burning the kitchen down, his coworkers had denied his ideas for a new Wayne Industries Power Plant in the city, Robin had failed a test and had wined about it for at least an hour and now Joker had to pick this day to escape from Archam and go all crazy on the streets. "Great," Batman said to himself. "Wonderful. Now I have to follow Mr. Smiles-To-Much around. Today sucks."

He jumped from one building rooftop to the next, gracefully leaping across the chasms despite being stuck in tight spandex pants. One of the biggest mysteries, the mayor had told the city one day, was how on earth Batman managed to save the city, it's people and do it all in one night while wearing tight spandex pants.

Batman soared across the sky to reach the next rooftop. It was a hot night and all of a sudden he wished he wasn't wearing spandex. He felt jealous of the joker. At least while he leapt from place to place he wore something more comfortable. The tight suit was sticking even more to his skin and attaching itself on to his arms and legs. Sweat was leaking out of his mask and he wiped it away, but it was no use. Sweat kept pouring down. The middle of June in Gotham was not a pleasant time. Sure the kids loved it and the people seemed to enjoy it. But when you're a super hero wearing spandex and the nights in Gotham just so happen to be just as hot as the days in Gotham, you didn't exactly find it pleasing.

Batman adjusted his mask, making sure that it wouldn't slip off despite the sweat that formed behind it. Standing taller and looking around he perked his ears and listened. In all of his years as Gotham's hero Batman had gotten to know his enemies. And he had learned very quickly that while Joker may be excellent at hiding there was one thing that no matter whether he liked it or not, always gave him away.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ho, ho, hee, hee, hee, haw, haw, *giggle, *snort, *giggle!"

Batman smiled. There it was, the sound he had been listening for this whole night. He knew the joker could never last long with ought a good laugh. And he had been waiting all night to hear it calling out to him. Silently he slipped down the building ready to fight and grab the Joker when he least suspected it. Maybe today wasn't so bad after all.


	4. Falling Down the Vent

**Not realy super long! But it's all I could do with my huge writers block**

(Lillie's POV)

This guy was good. That was all that was going through my mind as I threw every punch, kick and block I had. I mean I knew _I_ was good. I had passed every police test with flying colors. I beat ever person there, including the men. So I was in no way unprepared. But this guy was _really good!_ He blocked everything while still holding a gun in one hand and the knife in the other. He never used them though; he waited for the gap I was trying to never give him. And he did it all whilst being quiet and staying in the shadows.

He moved quickly and efficiently, never letting me have a actually hit him or even grab my gun. For a few minutes our brawl was just the two of us playing chess. Never letting the other person move around to get to the weakness and calculating the next move. But after about seven minutes I could tell that I was losing it. And he must have two. Because he took the opportunity to lash out with the knife again. The first time he did that nothing happened, I ducked before he could let it hit me. But the second time he got me in the face. Scarlet pearls hit the wall. I looked over at the blood splattered on the wall. _My_ blood splattered on the wall. And for the first time in my entire career I did something I thought I would NEVER do. I ran. And I didn't just run. I ran for my life.

I got around him but he swung me around, trapping me in the dead end of a hallway. I looked around the room in desperation. There was nothing here to help me. A table. I could throw it, but it was too heavy. Not that I couldn't lift it, but I couldn't lift it in time. But tipping it, that I could do. How that was going to help me right now I didn't know. Then I looked slightly behind him There was a large grate on the wall. It was probably used for ventilation at one time. It was hanging slightly to an angle, a screw having been missing in one of the corners, and the rest of them rusted and crumbing. I guessed that the one missing had been shot off with the stray bullet he had fired at me. If I had one second I could rip it off and scurry in. There was bound to be a turn somewhere there. And he couldn't follow me in, he was to big. But I could fit. Snuggly maybe. But I could fit. All I needed was a second.

Very slowly, taking care not to let him see my eyes darting to the vent, I backed up. Just as I planned he followed me at the same pace. I kept going until I reached the table, maneuvering my way backwards around it, trying to make it look like I was trying to gain some sort of protection from its surface. Very slowly, and never once taking my eyes off of the red eyed man, I placed both my hands on the edge of the table. And I stood there, waiting for the right moment.

He kept advancing, ever so slightly raising the gun at the same time. And all the time I waited. Waited for him to reach the point I had sketched out in my mind. And just when I hear his fingers tense on the trigger, ready to fire, I did what I had been waiting for. I tipped the table with all the force I could manage.

The four-legged weapon flung towards him and for a moment he was shocked. But I didn't stand around to see the reaction. I took my chance and ran around. I tore the grate off and threw it to the ground. And right when my knee was on the opening of the vent and my hands were on either side, ready to pull up, he recovered. I gave him one last look to see if he was still down, but was surprised to see his sprinting towards me. With a squeak of fear I dove into the tunnel. But I had been wrong about the turn, because there was none. There was a drop. The last thing I heard was a gunshot, the whistling of the wind around my ears and my terrified scream.


	5. Wrecking Ball, Vat of Acid and a Camera

Jokers POV

"Today was far from my personal best time. A few hours were nothing. My best had to have been… hmm, three weeks. It had been chaotic in Gotham and the escape was easy enough. I just did the Vulcan hold on one of those guards and then skipped out, home free. Today had been a challenge. Nothing much had happened. So the guards were all free, the police were all at their stations and everything was pointed to us. More me. But us. I made my escape today while one of the guards, what was his name, Jim? Well anyway, I made my escape when Jim accidentally drank my laughing serum. Poor boy must not have seen me "accidentally" knock it into his coffee. So while he was splitting his sides, I split the bars and decided to be like a banana and split. Hahaha! Get it! I said split three times. That's funny! Hahahaha!" I smiled at the lamppost I had been talking to. It was a good listener. Better then Harley that was for sure.

I gritted my teeth. Harley. Even the name drove me crazy, and I'm crazy enough. She used to be my doctor in Archam. But she wasn't a very good one. Psychiatrists for the crazy are supposed to be a little less… bendable. But she did more then bend. She broke. I broke her.

"Heheheeheehehehee!" I just had to laugh at that. Even though it was sick and twisted of me to do. Who am I kidding? That's my job. I feed off of the terror that I create. Because I have created such a persona as to do that. To scare and to take advantage of the scared. Strange that no one finds what I do funny. That's what I do it for after all. It's all for a good laugh. But when the worlds your stage you have to make 'em laugh until the curtain closes. And even then you have to laugh. Go out laughing I always say.

But Bat Man, he's another story. He'll never laugh. I feel bad for him. He misses out on so much in life. Because if you cant laugh then there's nothing to live for. SO I dedicate my time to making him laugh as a sort of… payback to a favor. He's completed my life by making me have a reason to live. And I complete his by making him leave this world with a bang. Cyanide pie in the face or perhaps a exploding whoopee cushion. But even those things, those thoughts that I bring up, never make him laugh. But one day he will laugh. And I'll be there to see it.

Maybe today will be the day. He was chasing me a minute ago after all. And I'm sure after all the hints I dropped to show where I was should lead him right to the warehouse I'm planning to hide in. And I have the best trick up my sleeve yet. So far it's a little sketchy, but the jest of it is pretty good.

The words that completed my plan rang loud in my head. _Wrecking ball, vat of acid, camera. _It was all so perfect. Now all I had to do was wait.

I looked ahead to where my spats were running. There was the abandoned warehouse. It was a large place. Dark, dismal, decaying. "Heehee."Just my kind of place. In fact, this should be my new hideout. Batman kicked me out of the other one. So why not? A splash of paint, a few fun house mirrors and I'll be happier then a clown.

I reached the rusty doors. They weren't locked; the chain had rusted and fallen off long ago. But the doors hinges weren't very functional. And where the two doors met was rusted closed. It took a minute but I finally pried it open and stepped inside, but not before spotting something in my peripheral vision. I smile and leaded out of the half closed door. "Come and get me Batsy!"


	6. Alice Down the Ventilation System

**OMG I AM SOOOOO SORRY! Yes, I am alive! And yes, my present to you is this TERRIBLE chapter. It's far to rushed and I really don't like it. But I couldn't put it off any longer! But I swear that next chapter will come faster and be MUCH better!**

**ENJOY!**

**And pleeeeaaaaaseee don't give up on me!**

**To Samantha S, thatbueGRRL, may11101, MidnightGypsie and Acacia24, thanks so much for being loyal readers and I hope you stick with me.**

**I promise better chapters ahead. I just didn't want anyone to wait any longer!**

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She was falling fast. The walls around her were a blur of bolts and cheap metal and scratches. Occasionally her shoulder would hit a wall and make a sickening cracking sound. Once in a while her body would bend in a strange way, causing her to fall head first or folded in a strange fashion. The tunnel itself was strange. The metal was normal enough, thin factory sheet metal. But at some points it would widen, in others it was just big enough for her to fall through. It was never too much of a tight fit, but the fear of being stuck so far down stayed with her the entire way.

All in all it was not a good experience.

After what seemed like hours, but what was really just around three minutes, of falling she became less and less nervous about the tunnel and more about where she was going. She had been dropping for so long, to the point where it was becoming boring. But falling for such a long time wasn't normal, and so while the drop became boring, the idea of her destination loomed ahead. She knew that it was a factory, so a boiler wouldn't be uncommon . It was a closed factory, but even so. She had never been inside a boiler and now was not a time to be introduced to one.

"'M starting to feel like Alice." She muttered to herself past the rushing sounds ringing in her ears. "Now I know why she had so many issues."

The tunnel continued on ranging from light to dark to very light to very dark then…

BAM!

"OOOOW!"

It had seemed that she had hit the bottom. "Ow ow ow ow ow!" She moaned, standing up as best she could to give her sore legs a good check. She could still stand in what little room she had. And the room she had made it difficult. But she could stand, and that was a huge bonus. "Okay, okay you're fine." Of course she knew that was a lie. Even she could feel the trembling in her chest as she spoke. Her voice bounced off the darkened walls of the small box like tunnel she was currently standing in.

She walked over a few steps and looked up from where she had come from. The tunnel seemed to stretch on forever upward. And that was only what she could see. A long way up was dissolved in darkness. Who knew how far she had dropped. From the amount of time she had fallen it would seem that she had fallen…

She shook her head. "Impossible."

But there was no other explanation.

She must have been at least two to four miles down.

She shook her head again and looked down the tunnel, the only part that she knew was a possible way out, if she was going to get out. Climbing up wasn't an option.

However, forward wasn't truly the most appealing way out either.

In front of her was a tunnel. That was obvious enough. How far it went though was a mystery. A few feet ahead was all that she could see. A few more feet and all that was there was pitch blackness. Sounds like windchimes tickled the sides of the steel walls and cold, soft breezes blew through her hair.

And there was another sound. She cocked her head. It was shrill, loud, completely and totally out there. And insane. The kind of insane that chilled your blood to ice and melted your bones. It was quiet, but loud enough to be heard and distinguished as laughter.

Never before had she imagined she'd be stuck in a dark air vent, four miles under ground hearing insane laughter. But there she was, and there it was.

"Okay, Lillie. Laughter means people. People mean safety. Then again, laughter can also mean killers and rapists. But lets not think about that. Okay? Okay! Right! Onward we go!"

She paused.

"And stop talking to yourself."

With that in mind, her knees bent, and her hand on her hip where she still had her gun, she ventured into the darkness. Her hands stayed on either side, guiding her and keeping her aware of any breaks in the path she was taking. The first few steps were easy, even with the disadvantage of her eye sight.

Her shoes tapped lightly on the tunnel's floor. Her breath seemed louder in the empty space. It was scary, she couldn't deny it.

Then something changed.

The floor was gone.

"Not !" Was the last thing that left her mouth as she was flung down the dark tunnels.

Fortunitaly this ride was much shorter. And the landing was much softer then the last.

In fact, the last landing wasn't nearly as soft.

And in no way did the last landing shout "OOF!" when she landed on it.

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**Yes, I know. Sucky chapter. But next one is going to be AMAZING! You just wait and see!**

**Lots of sassyness and the a very pissed off Joker!**

**Stay tuned. I'm updating ASAP!**


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